A crack team of King’s College researchers have been working in collaboration with Lapland University to progress our understanding of time and motion.

Many people, and specifically those in the work place, are prone to loss of productivity through latencies in the motor-cortex transmission system resulting in slow staff speeds and loss of productivity.

Researchers have noted however that for many years, Santa Claus has been able to deliver presents to every child in the world in a single night.

Now, a team of King’s researchers working closely with the School of Present Delivery Logistics at Lapland University may have discovered the secret to Santa’s incredible present-delivery success.

Armed with this new insight, a clinical trial involving spiked mince pies and staff from the Environmental Research Group at King’s has apparently had a breakthrough.
The footage below, leaked from the trial, is believed to show what is possible with just a single magical mince pie. A calibration visit to the UK’s largest monitoring station on Marylebone road which normally takes 6 hours is cut dramatically to just 30 seconds.

Andrew Grieve who is participating in the trial said:
“What-day-is-it? Santa-magic-in-the-pie-and-a-merry-new-year-and-a-happy-I’m-fine-now.”

The trial is ongoing as some side effects have been observed.

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Item date 23/12/2011